OK...I went to boot camp last night and it was TOO soon. I was really hurting 20 minutes into it. I kept going and finished but I felt so defeated. I don’t mean to brag but usually I am “leader” when we are running or doing some sort of circuit but this time, I was dragging behind everyone. I could only do about half what was asked of me. It was like running really, really hard and you get that side ache but it was really deep inside my body and it almost made me nauseas. I almost started to cry. I am going to try again next week. I mean I know it might be stupid but I have to get back to it some time.  It’s been about 6 weeks now so I needed to do it. I told everyone 4 ½ weeks last night but I was wrong….sorry! It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.

When everyone left my house last night I just sat in the bath tub and cried. I felt like I let myself down so bad. I know I shouldn’t feel like that but I do. I have too high of expectations for myself.

Today it hurts right where my gallbladder was and it feel a lot like it did when I had my attack. I really wish I could go home but we are so short handed today there is no way I can. UGH!!

Anyway, I know I am rambling and I am not sure this even makes sense. I feel like my head is disconnected from my body. Well, I gotta go. More later.